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July 4, America's birthday, has been celebrated since, well, America's birth.

Over that time certain traditions have evolved. Parades, barbecues, fireworks, the traffic jam leaving the fireworks.

Also evolving has been a now-familiar list of Fourth of July safety tips.

Newspapers print them. TV and radio stations broadcast them. Your mother reminds you of them every Third of July.

But this list of tips didn't just happen. It takes time to hone something as sublime as, "Never point or throw fireworks at another person."

Over the years, less effective versions of the venerable advice have been tried and discarded.

In the name of tradition, here are previous incarnations of some Fourth of July safety tips, before they were pared into the more practical forms we're familiar with today.

• Always purchase fireworks from reliable sources. And what's more reliable than a guy in a tent who shows up every June then, without fail, skips town on July 5?

• Never give fireworks to young children. Make them pay for their fireworks. That way they'll appreciate them more.

• A responsible adult should supervise all fireworks activities. From a lawn chair. With a Budweiser.

• Follow label directions carefully. Unless you're in a hurry, in which case lighting the fuse and running usually works pretty well.

• Never try to relight fireworks that have not fully functioned. Get your drunken brother-in-law to relight them.

• Never throw firecrackers at another person. Bottle rockets afford greater range and accuracy.

• Keep a bucket of water in case of a malfunction or fire. Throw some ice in the bucket and it'll double as a beer cooler.

• Sparklers, fountains and other fireworks items that many states allow for use by consumers aren't appropriate when a large crowd is present. If a large crowd is present, you want to shoot off the good stuff from South Carolina.

• Don't experiment with homemade fireworks. Experimentation isn't necessary. You can safely assume they'll work fine. You made them, right?

• Never carry fireworks in your pocket. People might think you're just glad to see them.

• When cooking out, marinate food in the refrigerator, not on the counter. You need the counter space for chips, salsa and margarita mix.

• Never partially grill meat or poultry and finish cooking later. If you're going to partially grill something, eat it right away before someone else gets it.

• Keep lighted cigarettes away from the grill. Save your cigarettes for lighting firecracker fuses.

• Never burn charcoal inside of homes, vehicles, tents or campers. That's why they call it cooking out, dummy.

• When lighting the grill, keep the top open. If the grill does not light in the first several attempts, wait five minutes to allow gas to dissipate. If it doesn't ignite after that, light an M-80 with your cigarette, toss it in and close the cover. It's time to get a new grill.

Happy birthday, America.