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People, places and things I don’t care about.

-- Hugh Grant throwing a can of beans at a photographer.

-- Rosie O’Donnell leaving The View. If it’s possible, I care about this even less than I cared about Rosie O’Donnell’s feud with Donald Trump.

-- Come to think of it, Donald Trump.

-- Alec Baldwin’s domestic situation.

-- The NHL playoffs. Go Everblades, however.

-- The Dow passing 13,000.

-- Phil Spector’s trial. Not that he shouldn’t be on trial, or get a fair trial. I’m just not interested in it.

-- Larry Birkhead.

-- Vergie Arthur.

-- The NFL draft. I’m a Browns fan. Unless Clark Kent is looking for a career change, there’s no one available who’s going to prevent my team from being awful again next season.

-- Sanjaya.

-- The Earth-like planet discovered by European astronomers 120 trillion miles away. What? I’m going to go there on vacation?

-- Harry Reid’s assessment of the military situation in Iraq.

-- Sheryl Crow’s assessment of how much toilet paper I should use.

-- Text messaging. WTBD?

-- Reader comments posted at the end of news stories online. I know we’re all supposed to be grateful for the insights and advice provided by readers but the blogosphere strikes me as a pretty unpleasant place. You have to wade through so much negativity and hate to get to the thoughtful comments, it just isn’t worth it. Life’s too short.

-- Televised poker.

-- Anything the government does that includes the word “visioning.”

-- Any of the current top-10 box office movies.

-- The difference between a golf hazard defined by a red line and a golf hazard defined by a yellow line.

-- Blood on Curt Schilling’s used athletic sock.

-- The French presidential election.

-- The U.S. presidential election. Eventually, yes. But it’s a year and a half away, for crying out loud.

-- Katie Couric’s future with CBS News.

-- Richard Gere kissing a Bollywood actress. What the deuce is Bollywood, anyway?

-- President Bush’s dancing ability — or lack thereof.

-- Jet Skis zipping through mangroves in tourism ads.

-- The euro’s strength against the dollar. I probably should, but I don’t.

-- Buying carbon credits.

-- Cannes.

-- The relative merits and shortcomings of the particular brand of Catholicism practiced by the progenitors of Ave Maria University.

-- Network television prime-time programming. Except for, “The Office.”

-- The fat content of a slice of pepperoni pizza. Again, probably should, but don’t.

Now that you know, rest comfortable in the understanding that you can read this column without encountering any of the above.

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E-mail Brent Batten at bebatten@naplesnews.com