STORY TOOLS

• E-mail story
• Comments
• iPod friendly
• Printer friendly

More Latest News

• Collier schools summer bus schedules announced
• Report: UCF players tell of intense workout, coach cursing before Plancher's death
• Traffic enforcement locations for Collier, Lee

Share and Enjoy [?]

School has begun this week and many children are excited about the beginning of this new school year.

For some, it may be the anxiety of the first time beginning a full day of school. For others, it may be moving from elementary school to middle school or middle school to high school. All of this brings about anxiety and excitement.

There are others who are quite familiar with the school and their classmates and are looking forward to seeing some friends that perhaps they hadn’t seen all summer. Some are looking forward to all of the outside activities that the school year involves. However, quite a few students are also not looking forward to a lot of homework, studying and tests.

Parents are also having mixed feelings about the beginning of school. Many are happy to see their children getting back into more of a routine. While the lax hours of summer can be fun, it can also be a strain and tiring. Getting back into the school routine can sometimes be difficult for parents to manage.

In my column several weeks ago, I addressed the issue of preparing parents for getting their children ready for going back to school. In that column, I informed parents of the proper amount of sleep their children required each night and provided ideas of how to help start off each day a little easier for their children, etc.

Today, I would like to go a little further in helping your children adjust to doing well in school. If your child has had anxiety about school, pay attention to how he/she is doing. Ask him/her what it was like, what went well, etc. Help your child to open up and talk. We know that talking about anxieties is the key to overcoming them. It will help your child ease some of the worry and fears. If all went well, then everyone can relax.

I suggest that parents talk to your child each day when they come home. Ask what he or she liked best about school that day. What gave the most difficulty? Let him or her know you are interested. When I talk with children in my office, they are full of information. They love to talk about what they learned. This reinforces their learning. Children need your encouragement. They want your involvement.

I have found that most children have experienced frustration and sometimes failure in school only because they did not have adequate study habits. They definitely had the ability; they just didn’t know how to use it. Thus, I encourage you, as their parent, to be there as their guide and their supporter.

Homework is very important and should be done at a regular time each day. Each family needs to decide what time is best. Some children do best if they have some time after school to burn off some steam before they begin homework. Others do well by coming straight home and beginning. Each child and each family situation is different. Talk about it. Naturally, some events may come up that may call for some variance in this structure. Sometimes it is best for children to study in half hour increments, again depending upon each child. Be as flexible as you can.

Parents, please be available to assist your child in questions that may present themselves. However, I’m very opposed to parents doing the homework for the child. (This includes making projects, etc.) The child won’t learn if the parent does the work. The only lesson learned will be, ‘if I don’t know how, someone else will do it for me.’ Your work may get him an A in that particular class, but will very likely stunt his or her ability to grow. That will not help your child progress in this or her ability to challenge difficulties in life.

Parents have come into my office very frustrated, stating how they have been trying so hard to force their child to do their homework. They claim they just can’t get him to do it. All the nagging and threatening hasn’t worked. These poor parents are wearing themselves out. They are exhausted! In response, I say, “Parents, give your child the responsibility for his homework. If he fails, let him suffer the consequences. If he succeeds, let him reap the benefits.” Your role is to provide support.

If your children are going to be motivated and continue to be interested in learning and growing, they need to be responsible for their own education. You can be there to assist and support, but you won’t always be there in the future to do it for them. Help your children at a young age do it for themselves and learn to reap the benefits of their rewards.

Have a happy and productive school year!

---

Carolyn Katchmar is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, a certified addictions professional in Florida and a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. Address questions to Ethics & Civility, Marco Eagle, P.O. Box 579, Marco Island, FL 34146. Katchmar also can be reached at ckharper@comcast.net.