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Coming soon: Harry Potter and the Trap of the Tourist.

Officials at Universal Orlando Resort have unveiled plans for a theme park based on the adventures of the popular wizard of children’s books.

Set to open in 2009, the attraction will be just a short broomstick ride from Naples.

Anyone familiar with the goings on at Hogwarts, the boarding school that serves as a setting for the Potter books, will recognize that there are great similarities between J.K. Rowling’s fictional world and what passes for real life in Southwest Florida, where towns magically spring up out of nowhere and forests disappear in a cloud of smoke.

Even the Hogwarts motto, “Never tickle a sleeping dragon,” is shared. When was the last time you saw anyone tickle an alligator, sleeping or otherwise?

But those who haven’t kept up with Harry Potter as he’s battled evil Lord Voldemort and sought to master the game of quidditch might have difficulty seeing the parallels.

For them, here’s a brief glossary of terms from the Harry Potter series, along with their alternate meanings in Southwest Florida:

Banishing charm: A spell that sends an object away from the caster, or, in Southwest Florida, what developers seem intent on doing in Old Naples.

Counter curse: Used to remand a curse, or, in Southwest Florida, what you do when the kid at McDonald’s screws up your order — again.

Firebolt: An expensive broom used by Harry, or, on Southwest Florida, a lightning strike in the Big Cypress Preserve.

Howler: A letter sent by parents of children at Hogwarts that shouts out at its recipient, or, in Southwest Florida, a jet taking off over Mayor Bill Barnett’s house.

Elixir of Life: A potion that will make the drinker immortal, or, in Southwest Florida, rain.

Riddikulus: A defensive charm that turns the target into something the caster thinks is silly, or, in Southwest Florida, the handling of the Nick Sofos case.

Shape shifter: A being that can take on many forms, or, in Southwest Florida, the City of Naples entry sign at Sandpiper and U.S. 41.

Spattergoit: A grievous affliction of the skin, or, in Southwest Florida, what love bugs do on your windshield.

Spellotape: Wizarding repair tape, or, in Southwest Florida, what to watch if you missed Liam’s Bressler’s performance on ESPN last week.

Trip Jinx: Trips the target and causes him to stumble, or, in Southwest Florida, traffic on I-75 at rush hour.

Unforgivable curse: A curse so evil it is punishable with a lifetime sentence in prison, or in Southwest Florida, the rocks on Naples beach.

* * *

Richter Scale — In Tuesday’s edition I wrote that none of the six bills sponsored by state Rep. Garrett Richter passed both the House and Senate in the recent session of the Legislature. Richter and his aide, Becky Kokkinos, point out that two bills did pass, even though the House Web site listed their respective status as the session ended as “laid on table,” and “in messages.” More digging on my part would have uncovered the fact that in spite of that language, the bills did in fact receive favorable votes.

(E-mail Brent Batten at bebatten@naplesnews.com)