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Money management comes naturally to a chosen few; the remainder must learn either from books or the school of hard knocks.

Wise parents begin teaching their children at an early age not only the value of money but how to manage it. Allowances seem pretty simple. Pay your child a certain amount every week and relax.

Not everyone believes in allowances though. However when viewed from a perspective beyond dollars and cents, an allowance makes a great deal of sense.

Money is a metaphor for security, love, responsibility and success. As such, it provides opportunities to teach some of life's most valuable lessons. When a child is old enough to begin contributing to the family unit even in a small way s/he is ready for an allowance.

The first explanations should be simple: "We (your parents) believe you are old enough to help with some of the chores and will pay you every week when you complete your job." The amount should be fair, based on age and family economics.

An important factor is to make the first job/chore something easy to complete and provide an immediate sense of accomplishment. For example, a four-year old is not ready or able to wash windows but might help his mother fold some of his laundry. Folding laundry together models teamwork and cooperation while giving a lesson in orderliness. Mother can point out how nice the child's drawers look, how easy it is to find his clothes, and how much she appreciates his help. Gradually the child will assume responsibility for folding his own clothes. He will also experience a dose of positive esteem from his accomplishment and contribution to the family.

Loving families know how to promote sharing of responsibility which in turn solidifies the bonds between members. We are all wired for interdependence. Contributing to group or family welfare is a natural instinct that parents can enhance through appropriate use of an allowance.

An allowance can also be a way to teach the benefits of saving and how to save. Parents can take their kids to the bank and open a savings account to which they will contribute a specific amount every "payday." Watching money grow provides an incentive.

This is also a great way to teach basic math including how to figure interest. Few kids will refuse to add and subtract if money is the object.

The value of money in terms of purchasing material goods can be taught through the vehicle of an allowance. If a child really wants something that is within the scope of her "paycheck" a wise parent will help her figure out how to save for the desired object. To buy something with money she has earned is a major source of esteem as well as accomplishment.

Saving for something special teaches how to delay gratification as well as how to set and achieve goals. It can prevent the sense of entitlement seen in so many of today's youth.

The value of an allowance is seen in its many intrinsic lessons. However it will only work if parents can maintain their own long-term vision and not fall into the trap of giving children everything they want so they can squander an allowance on all the available sources of immediate gratification.

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Elinor Stanton is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner on Marco Island. She has 30 years of experience as a therapist, in private practice and with a large health maintenance organization in Boston. She graduated from Boston College and University of Rochester, and is certified as a clinical specialist by the American Nurses Credentialing Center. Elinor is trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist. She welcomes requests for professional assistance with a variety of troubling issues, including mood disorders, trauma, anxiety, panic and phobias as well as marital problems. Comments and questions are welcome and may be submitted by e-mail to: etseven@aol.com or telephone 394-2861.