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I’m Just Sayin’: Saving your Valentine’s Day
Courtesy of Arturo's Restaurant
One of the area's popular spots for Valentine's dining is Arturo's on Bald Eagle in Marco Island, with its special romantic holiday touches.
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Valentine’s Day has a rich and racy history. It has spawned (oops, poor choice of words), um, it has inspired poets and proposals and propositions and some darn good dinners out too.
So here’s a short, sweet manual on how to survive and prosper on Valentine’s Day in America, circa 2008. I have a few dos and don’ts, some from experts, some from the likes of the Hallmark card people and a few I made up.
I also have a few restaurant suggestions for guys who want to wow the woman of their dreams and schemes.
First, dos and don’ts.
Number one — actually one through infinity, is: don’t forget Valentine’s Day.
If you do, all the rest of this stuff is pointless. You will be seen as a major Loser — capital L. No amount of cute notes, flowers or slap and tickle teasing will undo this error. Heck, not even sunset drinks at the Taj Mahal will undo the damage for at least three to five years.
Assuming you remembered that there is a Valentine’s Day and that you still have time to deal with it:
DO get her a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive but it does have to be personal.
Good gifts: Jewelry. OK that’s it. Jewelry.
Bad gifts: Small household appliances. I know a woman in another town whose fiancé gave her a dust buster for Valentine’s Day. She broke off the engagement. He was last heard mumbling something like, “But she always said she needed a new one …”
Other bad gifts: Anything that’s not jewelry.
In a pinch, if all else fails, you can recoup any unsuccessful Valentine’s days of years past in one dramatic gesture — get her a slot on the TV show “Dancing With the Stars.”
Be sure her dancing partner is either Antonio Banderas or George Clooney. If you have a choice, go with Banderas. He can dance and sword fight at the same time.
Saving your relationship gifts: Flowers, if jewelry or network TV gigs are not in your wheelhouse.
Valentine’s Day and Mothers Day are two good reasons why we have about 21,000 florists in this country, including some good local ones.
Nancy Carrington of Marco Island Florist explained the Mom’s Day versus Valentine’s Day flower-phenomenon.
“These two holidays are neck and neck in generating gifts of flowers,” Nancy says. “Maybe Mothers Day has a slight edge.”
Nancy says roses are the typical flowers of choice for V Day. What about Mothers Day?
“Garden flowers, tropicals, plants, that sort of thing or whatever are your mom’s favorites.”
If you want to make a huge impression with flowers, I found something on the Marco Island Florist Web site to knock the lady’s socks off. Or whatever:
A nice vase full of 48 red roses. That’s four dozen. The price: $395.95. Nothin’ says lovin’ like four dozen $8.25 roses. Of course there are less expensive, less lavish rose arrangements if a 2X4 between the eyes is not your way of getting attention.
Don’t pay any attention to the growing movement against Valentine’s Day. The small but growing band of naysayers say it’s too commercial so they try to downplay it with insults.
For example, some guys (probably very lonely or submerged in a Dungeons and Dragons marathon) wear “Singles Awareness Day” T-shirts, hoping to convince society to ignore the hearts and flowers aspects of this day. The acronym for Singles Awareness Day is, sob, SAD. So don’t do it, even if you think it.
To get into the Valentine’s Day spirit, consider the history of this holiday and its enormous impact on American history and on our current events.
The History Channel’s Web site makes it clear that how Valentine’s Day got started is not chipped-in-stone fact.
“There are many opinions as to who was the original Valentine, with the most popular theory that it was a clergyman who was executed for secretly marrying couples in ancient Rome.”
So the whole “I Heart You” thing didn’t start off well. Good to know, considering how many men botch the deal every year about this time.
“In 496 A.D.,” History.com continues, “Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine.
Through the centuries, the Christian holiday became a time to exchange love messages and St. Valentine became a patron saint of lovers.”
See how they lure you in? They name the day after a saint for goodness sake. That’s not a fair fight — on one hand, a few geeks wearing ‘Anti-Valentine’s Day” T-shirts, on the other side, a Saint. Game over.
History.com reports that the first Valentine’s cards probably were sent in the 1840s by a lady in Worcester, Massachusetts named Esther Howland.
Emotionscards.com says she received one (see her photo for a deeper understanding of that) and decided to make and send them to others. Go figure.
She could not have anticipated how her little love notes would expand. An estimated 188 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged every year.
Hallmark says V-Day is the second most popular card-sending occasion. More than half the population of the US buys a V-Day card.
Another fact is one to which we can relate.
More than 50 percent of all Valentine’s Day cards are bought in the six days before the day itself.
So see?
If you’re a V-Day’s Eve buyer, you’re in America’s sentimental mainstream.
Dinner out is a Valentine’s Day slam dunk.
Here are a few of the more potentially romantic places to make the evening special. Be sure to make reservations:
Arturo’s Italian Restaurant, 844 Bald Eagle Dr. – Chef Arturo is doing a special four-course Valentine’s dinner. You’d have your photo taken and other Valentine’s goodies.
Blue Heron, 387 Capri Blvd., Isles of Capri – Chef “Beto” is doing a Valentine’s ‘Week”, not just a day. Rose petals and other romantic themes will adorn the restaurant, plus some surprise features.
Café de Marco, 244 Palm St., Marco – A chef’s “Lovers Special for Two” including special chocolate sweetheart dessert.
Verdi’s American Bistro, 243 N. Collier, Marco – Chef Guy will be doing something special, as he always does, plus the regular menu.
Other good, potentially romantic places for V-Day that come to mind immediately include, alphabetically, Blu Fusion, House of Mozart, Island Café, Konrad’s, Marco Polo, Marek’s, Sale e Pepe, Sasso’s and Vergina, all on Marco.
Our area has other fine restaurants of course, so pick yours and be sure to book ahead of time.
One final note. Some romantic but twisted gits suggest we not wait until Feb. 14 to do our Valentine’s thing. They say we should give gifts and flowers and leave notes to our heartthrobs several days before V-Day. I don’t think so. This thing could get entirely out of control. I mean wild, man. Hmmmm, sounds interesting.
I’m just sayin.’
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Don’s email: don@donfarmer.com.
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