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As we launch into another year amid dire reports of global warming, financial chaos and nuclear proliferation it’s hard to believe in a “Happy New Year.”

Fear is in the air and we have good reasons to be apprehensive. News that the owner of a once successful mortgage company is reduced to selling cell phones serves to confirm some of our worst fears.

So instead of making New Year’s resolutions that we hardly recall by Jan. 2, that only trigger negative feelings about ourselves, why not try something different?

The new year presents many opportunities for a fresh start. It doesn’t have to be in the form of giving up a bad habit or developing a good one. It could be making a choice to look at yourself in a new way.

One way to begin is to think of how well you know yourself. Most of us believe we thoroughly know ourselves but in reality we have multiple layers of being that we hide. We know what we like and dislike in food, music, clothes and people but what do we know about how these preferences came about? Do we understand ourselves enough to be fully accepting of who we are? Can we treat ourselves with compassion?

Perhaps you have a short temper. You blow up quickly and easily, then feel badly, apologize and vow to never again lose your cool. But of course you do and get angry at yourself all over again. The cycle repeats itself endlessly.

What if you chose not to become angry at yourself? There’s a good possibility that as long as you can remember anger has been a big part of your life. One or both of your parents was angry and unfairly took it out on you. Your lessons on how to be angry began early in life. You also learned how to apply them to yourself. You received an implicit message that you were somehow defective.

Although this may sound overly simplistic the roots of your anger problem go way back, but you can begin a new way of coping.

When you feel irritated take a second to step back and observe what you are experiencing. Then acknowledge to yourself, “I’m aggravated because I learned it growing up. Just because I’m irritated doesn’t mean I have to react. There’s nothing implicitly wrong in being irritated, I need only admit it and let it go without any negative judgment of myself.”

A combination of admitting what is and accepting where we’re at, breaks the cycle of negativity, self-recrimination, remorse, resolutions to change and more failure.

This is one example of how self-awareness and understanding can lead to compassionate self-acceptance. When we realize there are reasons for our actions we can stop negative judgments, give up anger at ourselves and gently begin to change.

If we treat ourselves kindly we will pass it on to others. It comes naturally. It makes us and those around us happy. Be good to yourself and spread the cheer all year!

naware of his/her condition or is afraid or unwilling to call.

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Elinor Stanton is a psychiatric nurse practitioner on Marco Island. She has 30 years of experience as a therapist in private practice and with a large health maintenance organization in Boston. Send comments and questions to etseven@aol.com or call 394-2861. Visit her Web site at http://www.etseven.net.