I feel like Paul Revere alerting the colonist “The British are Coming!” except I don’t need a horse to deliver the news, we have had a sports media blitz on the topic and it’s not a threat to me just the entire dolphin organization!

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How great is it to have the Tuna right here in Florida! Never mind Miami, let’s get him in the off season to relax right here on beautiful Marco Island. Calling all realtors, get the word out, tell him Collier Blvd. has reopened and plant the Big Tuna about two blocks walking distance from Resident’s Beach.

He loves the “shore life”; the Tuna did not live too far from my last place of residence in New Jersey and I know the Jersey shore is on his hit list as one of his favorite places to relax. If he digs the Jersey shore, Marco Island should be an easy sell! He is not too picky, when it comes to basics of living, football is a different story. Just make sure the paper is delivered on time in his drive way, his coffee to go is fresh and hot and he needs to walk the beach and eat in a restaurant without being bothered by stupid questions regarding his former coaching jobs and decisions.

I believe Dave Rice should call in some of his football cronies, invite the Big Tuna out to some fine dining and talk about football stories from the olden days of coaching. For a real twist, invite Miss Dottie our only female football Swami on the island to dinner. Bill Parcells will never be the same and most likely walk out with over one hundred dollars worth of YMCA 50/50 tickets or a Celebrity Duck for the upcoming Duck Derby!

Why all the excitement? You just can’t help admiring the guy and yes I admit I’m a big fan, it must be from those two Superbowl wins for the Giants that got my attention. I was crushed when he left the Garden State. Now mind you I don’t care what anyone says regarding the Giants being a New York team, the stadium is in the Meadowlands, New Jersey. If you don’t believe me, just ask the guys who murdered Jimmy Hoffa. I believe Jimmy is buried at the Meadowlands in Column B; row A.

Although I stayed loyal to both New Jersey teams; I couldn’t help but to watch the Patriots and the turn around that took place making the Patriots the team to watch and Bledsoe the quarterback to beat. The Patriots are currently riding the wave however don’t forget who was Parcells’ assistant coach back in the day. A little hint his first and last name both begin with the letter “B.” As per usual, Parcells likes to be in charge and the New England management just wouldn’t allow for Parcells to pull the strings he needed for the Superbowl ring; let’s see how did he put it? Oh yeah, something to the effect of being in charge of a large department store without having permission to shop for the merchandise.

Next it’s off to Dallas and so much for that third retirement or whatever number it was. I don’t know who has retired more Bill or Michael Jordan. I have to admit I haven’t followed the Dallas Cowboys since the days of Roger Staubach, Bobby Hayes, Cliff Harris, and Bob Lily; all my childhood football heroes. So there I was watching the Cowboys with Parcells at the helm (never cared to watch the team when Jimmy Johnson did his “thing”; never like Jimmy. It must have been the silicone hair or something to that effect).

Well the big question I have been asked over and over is, “Will you become a Dolphin fan?” Wow, what a loaded question with the Dolphins being my least favorite team to watch. I would only go to Miami when the Jets were in town and proudly wore the green and whites and took all the taunting that goes along with the rivalry. Even my own flesh and blood Wesley, a Dolphin fan, ask me if she finally gets to burn the jersey!

The answer is “NO NEVER!” You have to remain loyal to your team in good times and bad. If you paid attention, I said I enjoyed watching Bill in action especially those “looks to kill” when a player preformed the totally ridicules on the field. They are priceless. It reminded me of my own father when I did something really stupid and there were just no words to describe what he wanted to relay to me. It was the look, and it terrified me!

So there you have it, watch out Miami there is a hurricane on the rise that will cause more destruction than Andrew; even FEMA can’t get you out from under. The name of the hurricane is “The Big Tuna” and if I was an employee of the Dolphin regime I would be updating my resume and begin the job search, look for something real safe like a shoes salesman. Go get ’em Tuna!

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Gina Sisbarro-Blassneck resides on Marco Island and is the Senior Program Director at the Marco Island YMCA. Her passion is anything to do with kids; especially the teens. She enjoys directing theater and writing. She looks forward to publishing her first adult novel hopefully in print by the holidays. She has two teenagers Wesley and Brianna “Booey” which gives her the greatest joy in life!