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The Farmer File: A manager of two cities? Why not?
Now it can be told. Bill Moss never took that Naples city manager’s job.
It was all a clever ruse to get Moss out of the line of fire from anti-sewer forces.
“Heck, the Naples government was in on the hoax all the time,” Moss says. “Mayor Barnett’s exact words to me were, ‘Bill, if I get a landslide re-election, you can be Cities Manager, doing both jobs.’”
The rest is history. Barnett won re-election in a walk and now Moss will be “cities” manager of Naples and Marco, with full salaries from both cities. He’s just that good.
He will have two cars. In Marco it will be a GEMCAR, a spiffy little electric car, with a top speed of 25 mph, perfect for Marco’s newfound tranquility. And it helps local business; a GEMCAR franchise is on the island.
Moss’ Naples-based vehicle with a driver is leased by the grateful taxpayers of affluent Naples from “Easy Come Easy Go” limo service.
In a pinch, limo owner Mike McNaboe could fit the GEMCAR into the back half of his stretch limo.
Representatives of the anti-sewer forces, who suffered a landslide loss in Marco’s council elections this week, are spitting fire.
“I told you so, I knew it knew it knew it!!!” sputtered one losing candidate, using up the last of the exclamation points left over from their campaign rhetoric. He walked away mumbling something about Realtors, developers and Hitler.
Moss was sanguine about his new double-duty.
“It just makes sense for me to administer both towns. They both have traffic, new faces on City Council and beaches. Now they both have the same city manager — me.”
But why was the public duped into thinking Moss had left Marco for a good job in Naples?
“Well,” he said slowly, “we had to make the anti-sewer folks think I was out, to force them to focus on other things. Like their complaints that Marco’s new streetlights were too close together.
Groundbreaking issues like that.
“So we planted spies in their ranks, secret agents who won their confidence and then began saying outrageous things.
“It worked. Remember all the nutty comments, like Marco is a war zone, like Marco is run by Stalinists, that sort of stuff? Oh yeah, and remember when they compared their campaign to the Boston Tea Party and themselves to Patrick Henry and Paul Revere?
“Ha. The ones who said the dumbest things weren’t anti-sewer people at all. They were our guys, working undercover, pretending to be meanies.”
I got it. It was a slick, Mossian strategy. The real anti-sewer people were in fact mild-mannered, gentle-persons. They didn’t boo the preacher who called for civility. It was a mole in their midst.
“But we almost went too far,” Moss said. “That stuff about having a city manager elected up-or-down by the voters, that was so far over the top it almost backfired. Nobody bought that idea. We backed off near the end of the campaign so they wouldn’t realize our ruse.”
Soon Marco and Naples will be “twin cities” with a multi-tasking “cities” manager, whose long-term goal may be to merge Marco and Naples into a new city — Mossville.
Hey, as they say at City Hall, politics isn’t beanbag.
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Contact Don Farmer at don@donfarmer.com

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Farmer you are an idiot!!!!
#1 Posted by villagecrane on February 1, 2008 at 10:46 a.m. (Suggest removal)
What’s the matter villagecrane, does this hit a little too close to home. You guys need to lighten up a little. You caused this. The pro-sewer side has been sitting here relatively quite compared to the anti-sewer crowed. The pro-sewer side won. I think we get to have some fun at your expense. I can not imagine what the anti-sewer crowd would be doing if they had won.
#2 Posted by MarcoAvenger on February 1, 2008 at 11:49 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Avenger, Your an idiot too!!
I used to come to Marco to vacation, but with all the turmoil, construction, and this continued war of words I won't be visiting anytime soon. Frankly as a vacationer, I didn't cause anything and your comments show how stupid you really are. My only source of information is the local newspapers that I read online. Farmer used to have some very funny columns but since he decided to get political and take sides his columns have lost their appeal. As a resort destination Marco's appeal has gone. I think I will look elsewhere to spend my vacations.
#3 Posted by villagecrane on February 1, 2008 at 3:45 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Well villagecrane - From the way you represent yourself I for say good riddance. You are not the type of person we want on the island. I can tell you that your spot has been filled by a person who understands the good things that Marco has to offer. As far as I am concerned you are just one less horn blower on the Island. Now if we can get a few more grumpy people to leave, things will get better. Just out of curiosity if you are not coming here why are you interested in what is going on? Are you just a troublemaker?
By the way it is not nice to call people names.
#4 Posted by MarcoAvenger on February 1, 2008 at 4:08 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Avenger: I can help you imagine what the antisewer side would be doing now. We would be consoling Don Farmer and pitching in money to have him surgically attached as a parasitic twin to Bill Moss. Not that it would change much about his life. All of the oppressed had already agreed to contribute 10% of the money they wouldn't have wrenched from their warm live fists and have a 10 million dollar reconciliation bash for the entire island. My friends with septic tanks were planning to go out and weep with joy over the drainfields they thought they had lost. Then we were going to flush the STRP. But as you guys keep reminding us this is will never be. It is over and we are all (40% of the island)going to pack up and leave. Just as soon as our houses sell sometime in the 23rd century or until sea level rises 20 feet whichever comes first.
PS: Mr. Krane: I feel your pain but I ain't buyin the tourist bit. Call me psychic but I'm getting antisewer brethren vibes from you.
#5 Posted by Neutral on February 1, 2008 at 9:21 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Pretty good post Neutral. Every one on the Anti-Sewer side feels that they did a good thing running Bill off. However, it is strange that Naples did a Country wide search for a City Manager. They had over 80 candidates and decided on Bill. This leaves one to wonder who actually came out good on this deal. If Bill was damaged goods I do not think that Naples would have offered him the job. I think that Marco lost out in this deal. Bill put his heart and soul into making Marco into one of the finest Cities in the Country. One only has to drive down Collier Blvd. to see the improvements. I am sure as long as you price your house properly you should have no problem selling this year. Everyone on Marco thinks that their house should double in value every two years. You do not have to be a rocket scientist to know that that could not continue. However, houses are starting to move now. I personally do not think you want to move. I do not think you will be able to find what Marco offers in too many places.
#6 Posted by MarcoAvenger on February 2, 2008 at 1:30 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Avenger: You got me there. You must be the psychic. What was it about my post that clued you in to the fact that I was being facetious? Probably the parasitic twin stuff. I should have known that was a little over the top. Your right about me staying put. This is the absolute best place on earth even with the our wacky local politics. I've carefully examined my post and I can't find anything derogatory about our beloved ex city manager so I'm not sure why you wrote such a touching defense for him. But in the spirit of Jeopardy I will follow your defense with a little commentary so it at least appears you weren't ranting to yourself. I thought Mr. Moss was a capable administrator perhaps even an excellent one. I will also admit that the job of Marco City manager is not one I would want. The pay certainly doesn't compensate for the aggravation. Perhaps that is why he lost his mind and resorted to suggesting the city sue residents who signed a petition for what it cost the city. That's like expecting those who support the STRP to pay for it. We both know that ain't happenin. I was amazed at how little uproar there was over that outrageous attempt at voter intimidation. I could go on and on but I won't because frankly I was never an advocate for him leaving. Considering the ballooning beaurocracy on Marco Island the pay to manage it is pathetic and Naples is even worse. My opinion is that the structure of our city government is disfunctional and put Mr. Moss in the position of making politically sensitive decisions. In that department he wasn't too savy. What we need is a well compensated manager who answers to a full time elected mayor with a city council for checks and balances. That's how big cities are run and if you don't consider Marco a big city, take a look at the budget.
#7 Posted by Neutral on February 2, 2008 at 6:28 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I'm sorry but $250,000 for a city manager of a 3x5mile island is not right. Just having this much information makes me very sorry for voting for cityhood in the first place.
#8 Posted by sunnycity on February 5, 2008 at 12:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)
sunnycity: the 3X5 mile island is valued at around $10,000,000,000.00. That is ten billion Dollars no matter how you look at it. Paying a qualified person $ 250,000.00 to manage ten billion Dollars in assets is a bargain. By the way, it is a 6X4 mile Island.
#9 Posted by patton1 on February 5, 2008 at 8:11 a.m. (Suggest removal)
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