Down Yonder

Elections used to be fun. They aren’t anymore. Election days and the campaigns that preceded them used to be almost as good as Christmas but that was before politics was dumped into the gutter. Full story »

The road map was yellowing and brittle, tearing at the seams. It showed a Florida with lots of green and white space and only small bits of colored-in “city” dotting the shorelines. Full story »

The airboat skidded across the open water, slapping the small waves as it bounced from side to side. Between the wind screaming into one’s face and the roar of the propeller shielding off all other noise, conversation was impossible. The passengers felt isolated in that vast, untamed world. Full story »

The wasp hovering about the man’s head was irritating. With a quick swat of a rolled up newspaper he smashed it against the wall. It was only then he realized what a mistake he’d made. He remembered the story the ancients told, the story of the giant wasp as big as a house. Full story »

Wouldn’t ya just know it! Plenty of rain starts pourin’ down from the heavens just about the time South Florida’s water regulators slap year-round rules on how much water we can throw on our lawns. Full story »

Another Fourth of July has come and gone and we remain free people — most of us, anyway, so far. I admit I couldn’t help myself and shot a couple of bottle rockets into the bayou just to see the flash and hear the muffled, “boof.” I hope the fish and pelicans don’t suffer too much because of my freedom. Full story »

I’m wet! Oh yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “He’s always been all wet.” But I mean, I’m really wet, soppin’, soakin’, sodden, saturated, permeated, drenched, drippin’ wet. Full story »

It was a flood of Biblical proportions. Well, okay, maybe not exactly but it was a heckuva flood and when it happens — and it happens every once in a while in this subtropical paradise — folks always start talking about how much we contribute to the flooding. Full story »

The teachers at her school must wonder why the little girl always seems to have a dirty right forefinger. “Don’t her parents bathe her?” they must ask themselves. Of course her parents bathe her — every night. But you must understand that drawing pictures in the soft Florida sand every morning is a temptation few Florida children can pass up. No one should pass it up. Full story »

“Spring is sprung, the grass is ris. “ wonder where them flowers is?” The flowers is around plenty and always are but spring? What spring? We just went from the depths of winter to full-blown summer. Spring didn’t even bother to stop by. Full story »

The crowd heaved a collective sigh as the last tip of the sun sank beneath the water. “POP!” exploded the briefest flash of green as the rim of the orange ball disappeared. Sunsets are among the best — and cheapest — assets of our bountiful land. And, yes, the green flash exists but not every day and not everyone can see it. Full story »

The old man was relaxing on the beach under the shade of a tall pine tree, taking a break from his job cutting down coconuts. “I just don’t understand it,” he said, gazing up into the tree as a pair of pelicans played tag. “I just can’t understand people who think of a tree as a pest. It ain’t nat’rul.” Full story »

“Biodegradable,” read the product label. “Concentrated Marine Degreaser.” “Well, hey, that’s pretty good,” the skipper said. “I’m always worried about putting harmful chemicals into the water. You can’t be too careful.” Full story »

The shudder started in his lower spine. It raced up his back to his shoulders and reached the inner part of his brain where dread and worry rule. There it was. There was no mistaking it. Splashes or ripples on the pond can sometimes be deceiving. You think they’re one thing when they’re really a turtle or an anhinga. Full story »

Humankind can look pretty silly when it tries to figure out the ways of nature. Just when you think you’ve got nature figured out she’ll throw you for a loop and leave you feelin’ like just another dumb human bein’. It all started one Saturday not too many weeks ago. Full story »